Brayden has 5 months under his belt now

So much has happened that it’s hard to summarize it all in a single post. From the joy of a first holiday to the scares of a first ER visit, we defiantly didn’t have a bland month.

Let’s start at the beginning, because that’s a very good place to start. With the fourth month behind us, we were ready to begin planning for the first major holiday, Halloween. It seems that like most things, everyone likes to get cute clothes, but like most things, it’s a one-time wearing and done. We went into the holiday with 4 outfits already for Brayden. But the issue with having things already is that it doesn’t feel like a cohesive unit. So we of course had to get a fifth, which blended with the family.



So the week leading up to Halloween, Brayden got to be a pumpkin, skeleton, Dalmatian, and cat. All were cute, but the pumpkin was the top winner as with the cute little hat and bright colors, he captured everyone’s hearts with a smile.

Before we could get to the Halloween day however, we got the biggest scare of our lives. Brayden had been dealing with a cough over the past week or so, and it was getting a bit worse, or at least not getting better. So we decided to schedule a checkup with the dr to just play it safe. We even contemplated canceling the day of, as the cough seemed to be dying down a bit. No one wants to the parent that is always forcing their kid to the Dr for the slightest sniffle. But it turns out we were super lucky to go in as the dr immediately looked at Brayden and said he was having issues breathing and took an oxygen count that was in the low 80's where the ideal is 99 or 100.


If that wasn't scary enough, Kristy had to be at the appointment alone, as John was at work. They gave Brayden a treatment of oxygen and medication via a mask and despite fighting it, was supposed to help. After two treatments there was a slight increase, but not enough to be comfortable, so Kristy was told to call John and let him know he needed to join her immediately.


Shortly before John arrived the dr's office called 911 for an ambulance and it arrived shortly after john did. Before they knew it Brayden, Mom, and Dad were all taken via an Ambulance to children’s hospital as they were more equipped to deal with infant patients. It was the first ambulance ride for all of us and at least we were able to all rides instead of someone having to follow via car. Luckily after arriving and getting checked in, we were released within a few hours with a boy who was doing much better and a prescription for a nebulizer. The nebulizer treatments were easier said than done as you can imagine how much a baby likes to have things strapped to his face, let alone a grumpy sick baby who already doesn’t feel very good.


We began our new routine just in time for Halloween. Despite being too young for candy, we were not going to miss getting to trick or treat on his first Halloween. We bundled him up and got him in the stroller and begin the journey to hit the various important houses. We stopped at John’s parents, Kristy's cousin Kelly’s, Kristy's parents, and lastly John's sister’s house. Each place was excited to see our cuddly little lion and was more focused on spending time talking with us then the other treat or treaters. The following weekend we had our Halloween party, and got to show Brayden the joy of bringing a party into your house. It was also a great excuse to clean the house, as it’s funny how easy it gets dirty these days.


Beyond the experiences of the month, we also begin some firsts, one of the most exciting of which was the first foods. I say exciting as it is a milestone, but it is still even to this day a milestone that is a challenge to truly cross. To say he didn't like solids, would be like saying winter is cold. Both are true, but neither do justice to the true feeling. We tried various methods to feed Brayden, but most were met with dislike. From eating in the bumbo on the kitchen floor to eating in the bathtub. He is willing to put the spoon in his mouth once, but once he gets that taste or texture, he won’t be fooled again. It’s impressive how he can contort his body to avoid that spoon, but he always finds a way. In the end i think we are getting progress, but who knew it would be this hard. The trick has been mixing a few sips of bottle with a spoonful of orange stuff. He seems to like most squash and sweet potatoes. I say like most, but i guess hate least would work too.

Another first this month was getting truly sick. I'm not talking about the hospital visit, but instead about the whole family getting the flu. Kristy had come down with a bug on a Saturday evening, and by midnight of that same night, Brayden was hit with it as well. As a parent, there is nothing that makes you feel as helpless as your 5 month old crying out in pain and throwing up, because he doesn’t know what is going on in his body, but nothing you can do to help. At least when they are older kids, you can help them to the bathroom, they can use the toilet, have a sip of water to wash out their mouth, or tell you its coming. John slept on the couch outside braydens room that night and was up every hour and a half or so just to check on him and make sure he was doing okay. That lasted until John came down with it the following afternoon, and luckily Brayden was doing better by that point.

The biggest development on his movement this month has been his ability to sit up. It went from a propping up and sort of collapsing over to him sitting up straighter then most of us do for long periods of time and playing independently as he sat looking around. He has also begun to think about crawling. He will get on all fours and rock back and forth, but isn’t quite ready yet to begin moving. I'm sure he is just taking pity on his parents who already feel like he is growing up to fast.

The Fourth Month

Rolling over has become so easy, that he does it everywhere. He tries to roll over to get out of his car seat, yeah, that always works out well with the straps. He rolls over during diaper changes, that one’s a blast. He even rolls over at times when he is taking a bottle. Now to be fair, he is also able to roll over in his crib, which means that before when he would wake himself by flipping over, he just flips right back and goes to bed. It helps with the daycare naps as well because they only put him on his back, and he can now get into his comphy position and hit some zzz's before the next activity.





Braydens forth month was filled with trips and excursions as we did everything we could to show him the world, or at least a few Wisconsin highlights. We went to the elegant farmer and got to go apple picking and find the baby’s first pumpkin. He did remarkably well with the long lines, and it helped that Kristy was able to use the baby Bjorn to carry him so he was just able to look around and see lots of people. He is such a people watcher. He got his first hay ride and helped mom pick some apples that could be made into baby food. When we got to the pumpkin patch, we had to find the perfect Brayden size pumpkin. Needless to say, there are not a ton of tiny pumpkins, they call those gourds. But if history has shown anything, we don’t give up easily. We ended up fining the perfect pumpkin and got a few pictures with Brayden in the pumpkin patch.






Another excursion we took was to holy hill, to see the changing colors. We made the brilliant move of walking the trails, and at each split, choose a random path to go on without looking at a trail map. Needless to say the first mile was awesome, but the next three were a little long, only to leave us miles from the car and the trail just ended. Brayden was doing excellent during the entire trip as he was in a backpack carrier on John's back and loved to see the outside and all the leaves. We found a fellow hiker who directed us down a few roads and a mile latter we finally found the parking lot. I promise that is an experience we won’t forget.

One of the biggest transitions this month was switching Brayden from soy formula to regular formula. He has been on soy formula since about 1 month old, and to begin that switch back, it was the first step to introducing solid foods. It was done over a week and a half and in stages of half soy and half new, but the transition proved to be easier than expected. He was able to start taking the basic formula and has not looked back.

We also got to experience our first trip without Brayden, which was probably one of the hardest things imaginable. John's work was sending him to Vegas, and offered to have Kristy come along if we paid for her airfare. It was something that we couldn't pass up, and Kristy's parents were more than excited to take Brayden for the week. It was however quickly apparent that Vegas is not our scene, the drinking, gambling, etc., and we looked most to our nightly Skype sessions with the boy. It was hard to accept, but it was quickly realized that we would rather spend a night doing anything with our boy, then a night of doing anything else, without him. I guess that is what being a parent is all about.

Where did the last 4 months go?

How can 4 months seem like a lifetime.



It’s hard to imagine that just four months into parenthood it seems like a lifetime has past. We have long forgotten the struggles we went through to get here, which is a good thing. It means we have let go of the stress and bad memories to replace them with amazing events like a first giggle or a brilliant smile at 6 am when you wake him up for the day. It’s hard to find moments these days that are not magical in one way or another. Even the times that are less fun, like the first time he gets sick, represents a new chapter in our lives.


This month we did that first sick day. It was an interesting thing to get that call, and to inform work you have to go home, but not be sick yourself. Brayden could have cared less that he was sick, as he was just as smiley and happy and playful as always. I guess that’s a blessing of being sick when your this young, you don’t know that your sick, so you haven’t let learned how to milk it for all that it is worth. Another interesting thing about having a child that is sick … you can get it too. So far this month, John has received both a cold from Brayden as well as a virus. Isn’t he so good at sharing.



This month has had plenty of great developments as well. Beyond the giggle that melts your heart, he has a whole new personality that is developing. You can already tell that he will be a thinker, as so often you will find him staring at thing with a focused look, trying to take it all in. He is getting better about being able to play by himself and loves to jump around in the jumparoo and exersaucer. We will have our hands full when he starts to be very moble. He is scooting around on his stomach but its only a matter of time before he starts to crawl.


He has perfected the roll over from the tummy to the back. Often when we go to check in on him during a nap he has rolled over to his back and is staring up waiting for our reaction. He has gotten the rolling over to the tummy a few times as well, but that’s less frequent of an occurrence. The tummy rolling seems to be easier as he has super strong legs, which will destine him for great things in sports. We have already decided that he will be in soccer and basketball, as well as a few others to try.


We had a photoshoot and learned that despite the fun stage, its not the most conducive to taking pictures. He is too old to sleep through it and give super cute sleepy pictures, but too young to know about posing or care that a camera is pointed at him. Don’t get me wrong, there are still plenty of cute pics, but its going to be nice when we can bribe him with culvers to get a few extra good shots in before our time runs out.

Brayden is now 15 pounds and 26 inches long. He is 90% for height and 50% for weight. however for height and weight he is only in the 5th percentile. Dr says he is going to be long and lean.

It’s a wonder to think that about this time last year, we were figuring out that we were officially pregnant. How the world has changed.

Birth Story

I realize i never finished writing Brayden's birth story. So you all know that we went into the hospital on May 17th due to an interesting stress test. I immediately called into work to let them know that i wasn't going to be coming in for a while :) and give them the list of things that they needed to take care of (inform my temp, pick up our broken printer, and attend a meeting i was suppose to be a part of), lucky for me they were able to handle it all and i actually got scolded when i was responding to emails that day lol. I also tried to contact my parents as much to my poor planning they were in Chicago for the day at a conference (and i had agreed that i would wait to have the baby till they came back in 2 days, sorry mom and dad guess i lied) well since they were at the conference they weren't answering their phones. So i called and called and texted and called and finally emailed hoping they would get the message as i really didn't want them to miss this. they finally called me back (well actually she called john thinking i would be having contractions and not able to talk) and we explained what was going on and that they should come home but wouldn't need to rush home as it probably wouldn't be a baby until the next day.

Well when we went in we were told that i was going to be induced and i was hooked up to pictocin. The nurse forwarned us that it be take overnight before the real labor would start, and to setting in for a long process. I was on the pictocin to start the labor process for about an hour and supposedly was having contractions every 10 minutes (luckily i didn't feel them). when all of a sudden a nurse came in and took me off the pictocin and said the doctor would be in to see me shortly. John and i were a bit confused as to what was going on but we were completely OK with taking things as they came. This is when i called my mom and updated her on the situation and it was then decided that they would come home that day, but they had to figure out the train situation.

the doctor came in and explained that he had consulted with a few other doctors in regards to my unicorn uterus and it was decided that if i were to be induced there was a higher chance my uterus could rupture and cause many many problems. So instead of being induced i was put on the list for a c section. We were informed that there were a high number of c sections on the books for that day so we would have to wait a while. We were the 6th in line of 7 for the evening. It turns out we waited all day until 7:30 at night when it was finally our turn. It was about 6:30 when my parents finally arrived and my dad surprised me by coming home too. He was saying he was thinking about staying at the conference but knew he couldn't miss this even. So my guests and john and i hung out till it was c section time. It was a room full of loves ones eagerly awaiting the new arrival.

Finally, John and i were taken back to the operating room and john had to be dressed in his full scrubs (he sure did look cute in them) and i was taken into the OR alone to get my spinal and get prepped. The doctor and the nurses did a great job of keeping me calm and having me laugh and joke as they prepared things. It was finally time and John came in and sat down and i was cut open, it feels like it was only seconds until they were showing me my beautiful baby boy. i remember seeing him and having a tear fall down my cheek, i was so relieved and blessed that he came out so healthy and great. John informs me though that i was quite the bleeder as he stood up at one point and saw a pool of blood at the doctors feet and had to sit down before he passed out. After a while i finally had to ask the doctor if he was almost done closing me up as i was starting to feel some pressure on my insides, well turns out the doctor was playing around wanting to see first hand what a unicorn uterus looked like. Turns out the diagnosis was correct as the doctor verified.

Baby bray was born just a wiggly as he is today, and immedately peed on the nurse to say welcome to the world.

John went off with baby white (no name at that time) while i went off to the recovery room, since they had so many c sections that day babies could not be in the small recovery room as there were multiple moms there at the time. I took a bit of a nap in the recovery room coming off the drugs.

Baby bray was taken to the nursery to be cleaned up and have his vitals checked. He was given an apgar score of 9 wich is almost perfect. He got to see his daddy, grandma, and great grandma in the nursery windows. The only thing missing was a chance to see mommy.

when i was finally taken back to my room it was probably another 30 minutes until they brought the baby in. I remember asking john about every 5 minutes how much longer till i get to see him and hold him. when i finally did get to hold him it was such an amazing moment one that i will never forget. I then started to try to breast feed which is not an easy task and he did not take to it well either.

My parents then came back after going to dinner to meet their grandchild, they also brought Laura to meet him too. unfortunately the pictures came out blurry as we forgot to turn the flash on. The boy did get some greats gifts and he was already spoiled.

Its crazy to think that one moment we are a family of 2 and then next a family of 3.

John and i spent most of the day in shock as to what was happening, and that we were going to be parents that day. We watched tv and played online and even had some visitors, as Renee brought John dinner and then my grandparents showed up to keep us company too.

As we set our heads down to sleep that night, we wondered how we got so lucky, and wondered what the next few months would hold.

Brayden is 2 months

As i sit down to finally write about Brayden's 2 month milestone we are actually closer to hitting the 3 month mark, but i will go back and remember what 2 months brought us.

Somewhere in between the one month mark and the 2 month mark i felt a huge change in how things were going. The saying that things have to get worse before they can get better is very true. It was about 6 weeks in that Brayden started having major "witching" times. He would be upset from about 6 until 10 as we tried for hours to calm him down and put him sleep. Brayden wouldn't nap during the day so by the time we were ready for him to go down for the night he was so overtired that all he would do was fight sleeping. Admittedly this was very very tough on John and I and we often would crash as soon as Brayden would totally exhausted. At this time we often would wonder how long this phase was going to last and if we could take it anymore.

Well i'm happy to announce that this phase really only last 2-3 weeks and then it was like the sun was shining all the time and our child was a happy boy. He started taking a morning nap, but still fought an afternoon nap. He would start fussing about 7 and it would only last an hour or 2 before he would go to sleep. I really think the morning nap helped him feel more rested.

Brayden is now full of smiles for his mom and dad. This is so amazing as i had no idea what a smile from a baby could do for my soul. when he smiles at me it is like every single frusteration that he gives us and every obstacle we crossed to have him is melted away and forgotten. It makes everything completely worth it.

Brayden and I have established a bit of a routine.
*He wakes up around 8 and i go in to a smileing baby who seems truly happy to see me.
*We then eat and play for an hour or two before he is ready for him morning nap.
*During his nap i work on getting some office work done, or even occasionaly doing housework (however more often than not i don't hehe)
*John usually comes home for lunch when Brayden is just waking up so he gets to enjoy some daddy, brayden bonding time as we eat lunch.
*Once john goes back to work brayden and i keep playing and watching tv (that boy loves his tv) and if we are luckly we may go out to have some fun in the afternoon.
*if we don't have afternoon plans i try to get Brayden to take an afternoon nap.
*John comes home and we do the whole dinner time
*Then we start trying to put him to bed.

Really i'm not entirely sure where my whole days goes as it seems i hardly leave the couch or the family room. But i do know that i am loving being home with Brayden now.

At this time i was going to work for a half day each friday. Brayden got to spend some quality time with his grandma's. We are so blessed to have so much help from our family in watching Brayden. This has really saved John from having to take vacation time or us having to pay for a babysitter. Working only in the office 1/2 day on friday is great as i get a ton of stuff done while i'm there but it also stinks as i continue to feel so far behind. I think i'm keeping up but just barely, but thats what my office should have known was coming seeing as i really didn't get any complete time off for my maternity leave.

Brayden is growing like a weed and is outgrowing lots of his clothes. I had to start packing away his newborn outfits,such as the one he came home from the hospital in. Looking at those outfits and looking at him i have no idea how he fit in them. Its sad i think that the first weeks were so hard and emotional for me that it makes it hard for 1me to remember how little he was.

At our two month appointment, we got to learn that Brayden has grown to 12 lbs 8 oz and comess into weight at the 65th percentile. With all things considered we are not suprised at the weight, as he seems to get heavier each day. But the fact that he is in only the 65th percentile is interesting. He was measured at a heighht of 24 inches, which puts him into the 86th percentile on that front. And from that standpoint, with as tall as he is, he is a rather slender boy in the grand scheme of things. I think he will be taking his height from the Koenigs side of the family as standing next to Michael and Kevin makes me realize that my "little" brothers make me feel little. At least my little boy won't make me feel little for quite a while.

Its time to enjoy this last month of time off as before you know it, we'll be back to work full time and getting to spend just a few hours a night with our boy awake.

my new normal?

not sure when it happened, but sometime in the last month my new normal became much different than it use to be.

*I walk around with spit up on my shirt all day (not having realized it) and don't even care
*Its a good day if i don't get peed on
*Its a great day if i don't get poop on my finger (Yes i have stuck my finger in Brayden's poop more than once, while checking to see if his diaper needs to be changed)
*i can go days on end without showering and don't care if i smell
*spending a hour playing with Brayden the "so big game" (just raising his hands above his head)
*being able to function when only getting to sleep for 3 hours at a time
*being in my PJ's until noon, when John comes home for lunch and i finally get dressed
*going to target and being super excited to go to the baby clothes section instead of shopping for myself
*walking around "jiggling" a 10 pound weight for hours on end (yes it does get exhausting
*going to see family and no one could care if I'm actually there, I believe they think I'm just Brayden's driver
*having someone scream in my ear for a few hours each night

these are just some of the crazy things that i get to enjoy each and every day. This is my new normal and oddly enough i actually love each and every moment of it (poop on my finger included)

The First Month

Its hard to believe that just a month ago, we were basking in the gift of parenthood and enjoying the lack of sleep that came with it. I can say that although we definitely enjoy parenthood, the lack of sleep gets old pretty fast. Its scary how quickly the first month has gone, as it seems like just yesterday we were wondering if this boy would ever be born after being so stubborn past his predicted April 14th arrival.

Brayden Roarke White, lets talk about that name a little bit. It is a combination of two of our top names, both that had their own middle name. Brayden Matthew vs Roarke Alexander is what it came down to in the hospital that day after welcoming baby white. The issue was that he didn’t look like a Roarke, at least not fully, so it became a choice of Brayden Roarke or Brayden Matthew. In the end the choice was his own, as we recited both names and he keep smiling whenever we said Brayden Roarke to him. Brayden means Brave and Roarke means champion, which is extremely fitting with everything that we went through to get him, and everything he went through to get to us, he is definitely our Brave little Champion.

The first month has had its ups and downs as I'm sure every new parent experiences. The hospital was excellent for so many reasons, but the most was a readily accessible team of people to answer your questions and give you helpful hints. Once you leave you still have people that are ready to give you hints, but not all hints and tricks are ones that you asked to get. Not to say that everyone gives you bad suggestions, but the reality is that we as parents are different then they were, so their choices may not align with our choices.

Arriving home for the first time was surreal, and really didn’t seem like it was anything more then playing house. Buddy was at Kristy’s parents, to avoid an extra focus for that first few days, and the cats, well they are and continue to be cats that most often could care less what was happening around them. I’m sure that will change when Brayden begins to crawl and grab hold of them.

The first non-hospital diaper change fully welcomed us to parent hood as not only did he pee during the change, he peed twice, and the second time all over himself (even a little in his mouth). I guess its good to start off rough, as its only going to get easier right … right? Having both of us off work for two weeks was helpful as we had time to figure out a sleep schedule. When we started, we attempted to share the duties, but both of us would be up, to keep the other company. I’ll admit that its very different now, with Kristy taking the first section of the night, as she is a better late night owl, and John getting the morning shift as he can get up at 4 and be functioning throughout the day.

We got a scare in the hospital, and ironically made our hearts skip a beat. Brayden was born with two small heart defects. When they tell you that your one day old has heart defects, there are no words that could summarize your feelings of despair and worry. I guess that’s best summarized to welcome to parenthood and let the worrying begin. Baby Bray had to have an Echo of his heart performed to see where the defects were, and how large or small they were as well. The test was not invasive at all, and we are told he slept through it all without any issue. The end result was finding out that he had two, one small, and one moderate. We were told to schedule an appointment with children’s hospital to have a neonatal cardiologist do further testing and they would be able to tell us what it meant for Brayden’s future. We got into Childrens the first week after and were blessed with the fact that the location and size were something that was so minor that we would never need surgery or drugs or anything. In fact even in that week, it looked like they were starting to heal and go away. The only follow up is to check back in six months to see if they are still present at all. There is no bigger relief then that moment when the Dr said, “your son is a healthy baby and you will never need to worry about his heart”.

In addition to lots of dr’s appointments, we also got to schedule and go to our newborn photoshoot. It was amazing to see the pictures and the photographer had a way with baby Bray that she was able to calm him instantly and pose him so many ways. It was fun to watch her work, and even gave us a few tips to go with.

Brayden has grown so much, as when he was born, he was 7 lbs. 9 ozs. He left the hospital at 6 lbs. 13ozs, and at his one month appointment was up to 9 lbs. 11 ozs. His pediatrician calls Brayden a little chow hound, but I think that’s a good thing as its better then not thriving. We have had our share of changes to the diet he got, as he was always hungry, so we had to supplement formula with the breast milk from the start. After a couple of weeks we had to change to purely formula as he was rejecting the breast, and even the formula we had to switch to a sensitive variety due to lots of painful gas and fussiness. We just recently change to soy formal as its supposed to be the easiest on the tummy, and so far its seeming to help his mood. Bray is definitely a boy however as with each loud, I mean truly loud, fart comes a goofy grin and look of joy.

Bray Bray’s growth has caused some interesting problems. He isn’t a fat baby, at least not universally. His head is large, lots of brains they say. And he is a long baby. So his onesies and shirts look very funny. For example his 0 to 3 months oneies are already something he barely fits into based on length, and is is only one month old. His shirts look more like belly shirts if we put him in the size he should be in. But when we attempt to use the 0 to 3 month pants, its like we could fit two of him in them and they fall right off. So I guess it will be interesting making an outfit out of newborn pants with 3-6 months shirts.

Brayden is gowning up so fast. We can already see a personality being to develop and we are definitely in for a handful. When he is hungry, he will let you know and moves his little arms and legs to ensure you pay attention to the flailing baby. When he sleeps, he prefers to be on his tummy, and watch out as he is a drool-er. He likes to be sung to, as well as being outside. He does not like to be on the floor aka not in someone’s arms, and most often will tell you all about it if you even try. He has super strong legs so if you put him on tummy time, he can flip himself over and show you who’s boss. His tear’s have come in and let me tell you its one thing to resist a crying baby, but to see a baby with alligator tears is twice as hard. He can scream so hard that he doesn’t breath, for what as parents seems like a lifetime, but in the end he will take a breath, so don’t worry too much. He likes the mobile in his crib, but since it is on a wind up motor, your stuck there for at least 10 minutes if your trying to use it as entertainment. He still hasn’t mastered what is night and day, but one thing he does know, is that no matter what time of the day, its always Brayden time.

The first month has been an amazing ride, and we are ready for month 2 and beyond. Our miracle has become a reality, even if sometimes we feel like babysitters waiting for some invisible parents to come home.

Why yes, the 17th of may sounds like a great birthday

So we are finally here. It seemed like it would never happen after two years of trying, a few failed iui, and the long shot of ivf. Then after being pregnant and being told as early as april 14th, the delivery date seemed to always be "next week". Althought we knew it would happen at some point, i think everyone in our lives, including us, wondered, is this boy every going to come out and meet the world?

We can all stop wondering, as today, May 17th, we will be getting a C-Section and get to meet our little baby boy.

This morning we started the day like any other, with getting ready for work, getting dressed all nicely, well at least me, as john can wear whatever. And we have a super minor non-stress test that was more of a precaution then anything else. Last week the Dr thought they might have seen something, which caused a number of tests and found in the end that there was nothing to worry about. That however including scheduling a few non-stress tests that the dr said might as well go though with even though we look good on all the other tests.

The stress test seemed fine, expect for the boy moving around so much that the nurses couldnt consistantly get his hearbeat. For those that dont know what a non stress test is, its when they hook up a number of monitors to your pregnant belly to monitor the babys heartbeat and kicks. Our boy will defaintly be a soccer player, as he kicks like the dickens, but everything was looking fine for the test, except that it was hard to get he heartbeat at times.

I guess the boy is ready to come out as well, as he knew what he needed to do (avoid the heartbeat monitor) to get the doctor to say "well, your far enough along, that i think it would be a good idea to have this boy, to be on the safe side." Those words were to my ears like a smooth sweet chocolate to my lips.

Finally, we have a plan, a date, and a knowledge that by tomorrow, we will be parents of a baby boy. We will update again we are sure, but right now its just a waiting game as there are 2 c-sections still in front of us, and at one time there was 4 ahead of us. So i guess the 17th of May is a good day to welcome a boy into this world.

Happy mothers day to all!

Although the boy has not joined us yet, He did make sure that I had a great Mothers day.

Here is the letter i woke up to today

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Dear Mommie,
I know that you wish I was able to play with you, and I’m trying, but I think with each movement I try, it hurts you. I don’t mean to hurt you mommie, I just want you to know that I’m here, and I love you so much. I dream of you so often, and can’t wait to meet you. I have been working hard to become strong so I will able to meet you soon. I know your smell, I know your warmth, I know your touch. It’s you who I want to meet, and It’s you who I will always go to for comfort.

Although I’m not out of your womb yet, please know that you deserve this day as much as any other mother. You have already taken care of me, kept me warm, kept me safe, and done all of it with putting my safety above your own. You were my mother from the start of time, and I was your baby from the second you met daddy. I know a little about fate, as there isn’t much to do in here but think and sleep. And I am your fate, just as you are mine, we have waited forever to meet, but we will be together forever from now on.

Daddy tells me that you hoped I would be in your arms by now, so I’m sorry. No tv for me for at least a week after I’m born I promise. And no computer time either. I’ll try to listen better as I get older, but daddy told me boys will be boys, so I might not succeed. I wrote you something, to show you how much I love you.

I know you are excited,
You want me to come out and play,
But for some reason,
In your womb I stay.

It’s because your womb is perfect,
It’s super warm, and safe,
Although it’s getting a little tight,
And I think I’m starting to chaff.

I’m the miracle,
At least that’s what you say,
But for me it’s you,
I want to show you today.

It’s you who struggled,
And it’s you who gave me life,
It’s you who got poked and prodded,
And it’s you who went under the knife.

I will never question if I was wanted,
I will never ask if you care,
You have shown me already,
Everything has always been there.

I love you more than tongue can tell,
I love you more than heart can hold,
I love you more than I can say,
So have an Amazing Mother’s Day!

Love

Your Little Monkey

Taking Bets

So at the doctor office on Thursday we were told the little monkey was 3.5 pounds at the 26 percentile. Feel free to post your guesses on what the boy will be when born. Since we do not know the due date Make a guess for 34 weeks, 35 weeks, 36 weeks, 37 weeks and later.

My guesses are as followed

34 weeks - 4 pounds
35 weeks - 4.5 pounds
36 weeks - 5.25 pounds
37 weeks - 6 pounds
Later - 6.5 pounds or maybe more depending on how much later he is

Anyone else care to put in a guess?

Hormonal Mess

I'm such a hormonal mess lately. I have been crying almost everyday for some stupid reason or another. Currently I'm watching Oprah in Australia and I'm tearing up as i just saw a pregnant women on it. Such a stupid reason i was never this much of a crier. I also seem to be crying over swollen feet, not feeling like i want to make dinner but the best reason for crying is because I'm so thankful. I keep thinking about how amazingly blessed i am to live in a day and age where a person with my condition can get pregnant and can carry that child long enough for them to survive. Years ago there was no IVF to help those like me and even if people could get pregnant if their child was born at 34 weeks the chances that they would be healthy were very slim. I just thank God every day for this amazing miracle that he has allowed me to carry. I use to think this would never happen and my dream is becoming a reality in just a matter of weeks. I'm going to be a mom and john is going to be the most amazing dad. I am a very lucky women to be able to have this opportunity, to have the love and support i have from everyone.

Thank you God, John, my family, My friends and all those reading this for being on this wonderful journey with me.

1 Month???? Freaking out

So i went to the doctor today for my regular kind of appointment and we got to talking about realistically when this baby is going to make an appearance. Well the doctor informed us that we are likely to go between 34 and 37 weeks. That is April 14th and May 5th, but she is predicting more likely near the middle of April. That means I'm about a month away from being a full fledged mom. Scary!! I have so much to do to get ready for this baby.

We want to finish the basement
We want to replace the window in the nursery
I want to buy curtains and lamps for him room
I need to make it to my maternity photo shoot on April 9th
I want to make a bunch of frozen meals for when i don't feel like cooking
I want to put away everything from the baby showers and be super organized
After the showers i want to go shopping like crazy for the stuff that is left on the registry and the stuff that i think is fun.

AHHHH so much to do and so little time to get it all done. Seeing as I'm not sure when we really will go i would prefer to have it ready sooner than later.

So if i panic over the next month please forgive me

My Charlie Horse Expiernce.

So i am entering the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy, i have experienced back pain (yeah it hurts but i can put up with it), i have random pains in my butt and other areas (weird i know), and i have experienced the random charlie horse. So nothing too horrible and nothing i couldn't handle.

That is until last night! I woke up in the most horribly excruciating pain ever, OK maybe it wasn't really that bad but when you wake up from a dead sleep to being in a good amount of pain it seems like its 20 million times worse than i would think it was if i had already been up. I woke up with a charlie horse that was a 10 on the pain scale. So i tried the tricks that have worked with my lesser charlie horses, flexing my foot, trying to stretch my leg out and finally massaging my calf.

Well people those things did not work this time! When i flexed my foot all i wanted to do was cut my foot right off as it felt like the pain was radiating from there. When i tried to stretch my leg out, i couldn't even tell if my leg or feet were moving as they felt stuck to the bed. And finally when i massaged my calf there was a small tingle of relief however once i stopped the pain came right back. So i laid in bed for about a half hour at about 4:30 massaging my calf and trying to determine if i moved my foot would it

a) actually move, as at this point i wasn't sure if my foot actually functioned anymore
b) if i would be sending myself into a butt load of pain again.

Well i was finally able to fall back asleep for a short period of time before my alarm went off, but when i was getting ready this morning just walking around my room created pain in my leg. So i think my charlie horse was so bad i actually pulled a muscle, now doesn't that make for a fun start to the morning?

Diabetes?

So as every pregnant women knows you have to go through a diabetes test in which you have to drink a somewhat nasty orange drink and then go in for a blood test to see how you process the sugars. Well a couple of weeks ago i drank the nasty orange drink (which i think i would describe as drinking a orange sugary syrup) and went in for my doctor appointment to get tested. Well part of the test is that you have to have your blood drawn exactly 1 hour after you drink the stuff, so i get to the doctor and tell them I'm there for my appointment and for the blood draw, i also make sure to mention exactly when i finished the drink. Well John and i wait for about 5-10 min and the nurse calls me back and first question is "did you tell them you drank the drink" and I'm thinking um duh of course I did as you only emphasised the importance of that 4 or 5 times at the last appointment. Well i tell her i did and then i tell her when i drank the stuff and she says oh we should be good as long as we draw you right away. So i get the blood drawn and all is well and my appointment continues as always. Which was so good as the Dr took a long time with us showing us pictures of the boy and we even got to see him yawn. I guess he was sleepy. The Dr also showed us how he had he feet up right next to his head, yup my boy is going to be a gymnast.

Anyways i get a call later that day informing me that i failed my preliminary glucose test and would be required to take the three hour blood test. They sent me information in the mail about what would be required for me to take this three hour blood test. i would be required to be on a special "diet" for 3 days and then come in for my blood test on day 4 when fasting. so this diet required me to eat breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner and a snack. it also required me to eat so much starch, milk, sweets, veggies and protein at each meal. Well this is more food than i normally eat. so last week Thursday i went in for a blood draw and a shot at my Dr for something else. Then i went into the hospital lab to start my test. I go in and it all is going well and good. I had my first blood draw and my drink and i sat down to read my book. So I'm reading my kindle and enjoying my book and then I have my second blood draw (hour 1) then hour 2 comes up and i didn't really notice the time until about a half hour past when i should have seen a technician again. Well i thought maybe they wait longer for the second draw as i really don't know what to expect. Well i was wrong as they came in 15 min later and said they would have to completely redo the test as apparently they forgot to come and draw my blood so i got a whole $10 gift card to pick n save for my time and energy. Well I'm sorry i was so pissed as a $10 gift card does not give me back the half day of vacation time i used up to go in for this test.

So i had to go back in for the test again, back on the diet for another couple of days and John went with me in on Saturday morning bright and early. We got there about 15 min after the lab opened and we brought our laptop so we could watch movies as we waited in between blood draws. So we watched inception and set up our cells to alert us every 55 min so we could make sure each draw happened at exactly 1 hour intervals. Well this time the blood draws all went according to plan and we went home to await the results. Well i got the call Monday morning that yay i had passed and no diabetes for me. This pregnancy really has been very easy in terms of symptoms and pains but trying in all the tests and having to deal with the complications of getting pregnant and then having issues with each test I'm required to take afterwards.

I guess i'll have to accept the few things that are annoying, and enjoy the rest that is far easier then i had expected.

Possible Names!!!

So we have finally been able to come up with a few name choices. The whole nameing thing is so stressful. This is defentely the hardest part of being pregnant, having to be responsible for chooseing a name that this boy will be living with for the rest of his life. I want to find a name that is strong, one that could possibly have a nickname, one that he won't be made fun of in highschool and so many other pressures. well with no further ado here is our top choices for baby monkey's name. Please feel free to leave comments with your thoughts but remember in the end that the final choice will be made after John and I meet him.

names possible middle names
Brayden matthew
Camden
Dylan tyler
Kolton
Preston
Quinnton
Roarke alexander
trenton
Tristan jackson

More Weekly Pictures

Week 16

Week 18

Week 19

Week 20

Week 22

Where to begin

Well i'm not sure where to begin as it has been so long since we posted. Over Christmas my good friend Leatrice was sent to the hospital with a bunch of serious problems and ended up in the ICU for awhile. Well thankfully God works miracles and she was able to come out of the ICU better than most expected. Due to her being forced to be bedridden for so long she lost most of her abiltty to move, function and take care of her kids. She is so amazing that only a few weeks from being out of the hospital she was pretty much back up and running however taking care of her kids was still a bit of a problem. I volunteered as soon as i could to come and help her take of her family. So off to Arizona i went for a week, lucky for me i left when Wisconsin was haveing horrible snow and cold storms. So while i was in the sun and wearing t shirts and flip flops, Wisconsin was stuck inside dealing with the cold.

I had a truly great time, being able to just hang out with Leatrice and talk to her after I thought i would never see her again was the biggest gift i could ever receive. John and i are going to make it a priority to see her, tony and their family at least once a year so either they come here or we are going there.

While i was there Leatrice kept me super busy doing crazy amounts of shopping (can you say fun!), book club (which i read about half of before the meeting), MOPS (mothers of preschoolers, very inspirational and informative), girls night (never have laughed so hard) and of course watching the growing Embry and the beautiful little Nola.

Going and watching 2 little girls (a two year old and a 3 month old) right before i have my own little one could not have been better timing. I feel so reassured that i may actually be able to do this whole parenting thing. True, Leatrice and Tony were both around to always be there for advice and of course help. I feel like i can now change a diaper (couldn't really remember what i was doing the first time, so Tony and Leatrice talked me through it), feed a baby a bottle (and make the formula bottle) and even change little ones outfits. Nola is a very calm baby so she was easy to take care of and it doesn't hurt that she is so cute. Embry is definitely a 2 year old, everything she said was i NEED this, and i do it myself and everything i asked her to do she would of course do the opposite. But even when she is being a 2 year old she gives you this cute look and you can't really be mad at her.

Couple of funny stories of taking care of the kids from my trip:

• I was dressing Nola one day and Leatrice told me to put her socks on, so i put these tiny little sock like things with a ruffled rim on her feet, however they kept falling off when Leatrice informed me that i had put her mittens on her feet. Guess that is why there were so small, and who knew babies wore mittens that look like socks.
• Changing my first Nola poopy diaper was gross, how does a kid who only drinks formula poop so much green goop? And no matter how hard i tried the poop was in every crevice of her tush.
• Changing my one and only Embry diaper though was a million times worse, as it was still green but it was chunky and the smell was so freaking strong that i couldn't help but gag.

I can't wait to see Leatrice and her girls again as I hate that every time i see them they will have all grown a ton. I am so much more ready to see my little boy, it probably doesn't hurt that Leatrice helped me buy a ton of little boy outfits YAY.

Gender Shmender

To find out the gender we decided to have our Dr mark down boy or girl on a card and put it in an envelope. We kept this envelope closed a whole two days until christmas morning when we opened it under the tree.

So we finally know the gender. It was such a treat to get to know on Christmas morning, by far the best gift under the tree. When we started this process, we were open to either a boy or a girl, as we want two kids, and one of each. Its funny that even though we have just found out the gender of our first, we are already worried about the future. What happens if baby two is the same gender, do we try for a baby three? how about baby three, then do we try for baby four? Well i don't know about you, but when we haven't even had one, its hard to imagine three or four little ones running around.

Knowing the gender gives us such freedom. We now can plan the colors of the room, the theme of the walls, and the cute baby outfits to occupy the first year of the baby's life. I think that hardest part is going to be thinking of names. Up to this point, we were able to think of general things that we like, but the reality has set in, and its time to go from general, to first and middle names, and even spelling comes into play. We want something that is unique enough to not be on the no fly list, like john white, but not bizarre to the point that people say, were your parents on something when they named you?

O, did i go all this time and not say what gender we were having? how rude! I guess we wanted to wait a bit, as the doctor was only 90 percent sure in December, and we just had another appointment where they could give us the 110 percent answer. ITS A BOY! Its strange that when they confirm the gender, they give you a nice picture of his package on the ultrasound. Is that something we should save until he brings home his first girlfriend to embarrass him? I mean if we have a picture of 5 days after conception, then what else can get better then that.

Having a son is something both Kristy and I knew was coming. I had predicted it since before we got pregnant, in part because i think we were so excited for a daughter. Kristy also had dreams about holding a baby boy in her arms, which was a sign. As the reality sinks in, its getting better and better every moment. I get to teach my son to play sports, and to wrestle and rough house. I get to have him help me with construction projects and work on the car, and everything that typical boys do. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sexist, and if i had a daughter, i would offer to have her do the same. But its just surreal that I'll have a son that will emulate my moves and try to grow up to be like me. A good friend of my was very excited we were having a boy and said "the world needs more good guys". It sort of caught me off guard, but its very true. I don't claim to be a saint, but i know that I am a man that puts his family first, and has such a strong sense of doing good for others. And the thought that my son will grow up with some of the same values makes me proud already.