Its not fair

I know i haven't written in a while and its because what i like to call my "its not fair" stage. And my father better not tell me "who ever said life was fair" because i just don't think i could handle it. And its not just the infertility that is not fair, its everything from not having peaches be in season to not being able to find the right paint color. I'm frustrated with life and feel like its not fair. I'm tired of people saying "we all have to go through things and it will make you stronger". I want to respond, HELLO i have been through enough in this life time thank you very much. But what can i do, i can go on living day by day and ready for this "journey" to be over!!

Also another its not fair, is that i have lost 10 pounds but am having trouble losing more. However my old pants don't fit but if i go down a size then they are too small. So not fair

My birthday is next week and I don't want it to come as I can't stand to see another milestone pass with me not being a mother and with feeling "its not fair"

I'm hoping one day i'll be able to write a happy blog......I'm just not there yet, sorry.