Waiting on pins and needles

It’s a fitting blog title, as after the implantation, it began both a waiting game, to see what happened, as well as continuing the big needle shots. For something that we have worked towards for over two years, you would think that 5 days would be a small price to pay, to know if there was success or not. In reality it felt like another 5 years.

The problem was that we were now so close. We had a growing embryo, and it was just a matter of if it takes. Another issue was compared to the natural way, we know what is going on, so every move or motion we started to second guess. I guess that made our 5 days that much harder, as when you trying to lay low, and low stress and low exercise in preparation, it doesn’t give you much to do.

That 5 days couldn’t go fast enough, and the Thursday morning shot was something that we were so excited and nervous for. I mean what if it comes back negative … do we wait a while, or try again right away? How much can we afford to try before taking a break?

Or even scarier, what if it worked? I mean that would be amazing, but it also makes it all real, and it gives us an amazing gift, but also a gift that can be lost, which would be even more crushing.

We decided that getting tested via our bloodwork wasn’t the way we wanted to find out, so we took a pregnancy test the night before to see what we could no. At this point peeing on a stick was easy to do, but the waiting was even more unbearable to see the “life” lines appear.

After five minutes, we looked, only to see no lines. I don’t mean no pregnancy line, but no baseline as well. Was it really five minutes? Maybe we thought it was, but it was more like 2, so we waited another 5, and then another 10. I guess it’s just fate that our test was a dud, not positive or negative, but just nothing.

Kristy couldn’t drink water fast enough, as she was driven to not let the pregnancy test get the last laugh. After a gallon or so of water, we were ready for round two, and Kristy was determined to emerge victorious.

This time we were more patient, as we waited for our lives to change forever without watching the clock or starting a timer. Finally we returned to the bathroom we our eyes closed and hand locked together. Then together opened our eyes to our future. For all the commercials with two bright lines, it is not like that at all. At first we weren’t sure if we were pregnant or not, as the second line was very faint. In fact, it was good old Google that come to our rescue as we looked at others that were positive and it was usual.

With the confirmation of our hopes and dreams, a clear clarity of what it meant flashed over our faces. We did it. All the strife and pain were worth the battle, and in the end, everything worked out. It was hard to contain our desire to post the amazing news on facebook, or call everyone we knew, but we still had the official test to come. It was just like the day we got engaged, as the first thing that day Kristy needed to do was tell Renee. The same thing happened as soon as we got the Google confirmatoin, Kristy needed to tell Renee, to share this wonderful news with someone.

You would think that with the confirmation at home, Thursday would be less nerve racking, but just as getting pregnant gives you something to lose, so we worried what if the test, which already had a dud, was wrong.

All those worries were quickly destroyed by the phone call we received that afternoon. AS we picked up the phone, we didn’t have to wait long, as the first words on the other line were “May I please speak to the pregnant Kristy White?”

“Of course you can!” Kristy joylessly replied, as there was no need to talk, as we already had our confirmation. Our lives are now forever changed, and we are excited to begin this journey. Thanks to everyone for the prayers, and we’ll try to keep you up to date on the excitement that will surround or lives for years to come.

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Our next challenge was how to tell Kristy's family. We luckly got invited to have a family dinner at there house on a weeknight. Our plan was to get something small, something of a token. We stopped at Baby's R Us, and looked at probably every peice of clothing, every toy, trying to figure out the perfect way to spill the beans.

In the end, we got Kristy's parents each a bib, with saying like grandma spoils me, and grandpa's favoriate. The small size made it easy to hide until we wanted to spring the news. The dinner preperation was going good, and before you knew it we were all getting seated to eat dinner.

"wait ... " kristy shouted as everyone got ready to cut into the food. She quickly got the bibs out for her parents and handed them each one with a sly "now we can eat". Even thought it was only seconds, the joy of watching the realization of what the bibs meant, as well as the power of love you could see in their faces was priceless. The were going to be grandparents, and they were looking forward to it almost as much as we were looking forward to being parents.